[rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] PETER HELLIAR - WHY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN - INPRESS MAGAZINE I know, I know what you're all thinking, why haven't I contributed an article to this fine magazine. Well, I had every intention to write a little masterpiece. I had three topics that I was going to choose from. They were, in no particular order, the gratitude I feel towards the space program for giving us Velcro, how dolphins are smarter than battery hens and the effect MC Hammer has had on the ozone layer. All worthwhile discussion points and definately ones I will be only more than happy to discuss in the future, especially the MC Hammer/ozone layer catastrophe. That man is practically a walking diesel factory. I've been to Adelaid for two-and-a-half weeks for the Fringe Festival and had a great time. I even got the opportunity to urinate next to Paul Kelly. If you ever get the chance to empty your bladder next to a national icon, do it. My Uncle Steve's great claim to fame is taking a dump three cubicles down from Sir Donald Bradman. So, back to my apology. I did mean to sit down and scribble some stuff down but there were too many distractions around me like shoes and Milo and apple skin caught between my teeth. And don't even get me started on Popstars. I couldn't write anything creative after Chantelle left. I don't care if the rumours of her stealing from the other Popstars are true, that girl's got talent. She reminds me of a young Pele, except she is a girl and not a soccer player....oh yeah, and she's not from Brazil. I wish I did write an article now, it really is the perfect way to promote a comedy festival show, my one is called 'Kokomo or Bust' at Trades Hall but I guess no-one will come and see it now because I didn't write an article. Damn Milo and those trendy Popstars! Perhaps I should be writing next years article now, I'm not sure what on. The swimming is on the tv, the butterfly is on. Butterfly is a ridiculous swimming stroke. Have you ever seen a butterfly swim? Well, I have and I can tell you they're not too bad actually, I mean taking into consideration they are prone to middle ear infectons and therefore train less than most insects. With all that said they should not have a swimming stroke named after them. Ha ha ha ha, oh I'm sorry I was just thinking about my comedy festival show 'Kokomo Or Bust' which is playing at Trades Hall. You should come with all your friends and strangers too. I think it is a show that will bring friends and strangers closer together. The thing that pisses me off about strangers is that they are usually quite rude. They rarely make eye contact or address you by your name. So, I am sorry for my lack of article, I should go now and laugh aloud at some of the wonderful humour presented in my all new comedy show 'Kokomo Or Bust'. See you there when this will all become much clearer, possibly. [rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] |
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