[rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] ROVE MONOLOGUE EPISODE SEVEN Thank you. Thank you very much. I just hi-fived a large, rowdy man in the audience before the show...I'm feeling pumped, I'm feeling primed, how are the rest of us? Go Anton the rowdy man...Well, I tell you what, I'm excited as the rest of the nation. For those of you who are unaware, a university in Australia has come out this week with some fantastic news. They're actually going to be paying people to smoke marijuanna so they can test its effects on drivers. Yes, everyone's going, "I've got to get my license!". But what they're actually going to be doing, they're going to be taking these tests in what they're calling a cyber car. I think actually what that is is just like a cardboard box with some fake wheels on it, but because the test subjects have had one too many tokes, they're going to be thinkin' they're in something from the Jetsons and they're going to be pickin it up and going "bbbbbrrrrrrrrr..." Thank you very much, I've been practicing that sound effect...and this is a tie fighter from Star Wars....arrrwwwrwwww...and the other thing, the tests they're actually conducting to test that people are actually not going to be freakin' out when they're on drugs and driving. The tests are : You have to count from 100 to zero, you have to walk in a straight line, and you have to resist an open bag of burger rings. See, that'd catch me out too. But the reason that they're doing this, is so that police are going to know when they pull people up in the future whether they actually have...Anton just got it...it's alright...The reason why they're doing this is so that police, when they pull people up will be able to test if they're under the influence or not because they'e actually pulling some people up at the moment and they think they're actually under the influence of marijuanna because they've been pulling them up to be breathalysed and people are blowing into the little white pipe and going..."Oh yeah, that's some good s*it maaaaaan!, can I lick your shiny badge ? I like icecream..." That's three, third time.. But, what the tests are actually proving so far is that drivers that have been smoking are actually a lot more cautious when they're under the influence. The problem is that being cautious means that they're actually stopping so that they don't run over every little single molecule of air, which is a problem and that most of them are stopping after three blocks to give their car a big, friendly cuddle. But it is actually a reliable test which is good to see. So that when they pull people up, they will be actually able to tell if they're smoking marijuanna...because, at the moment it's too hard to differenciate whether you're pulling people up who are simply stoned or whether you are pulling people up who are off their head on heroin. So, thankfully there'll be a reliable test...lets go talk to the kids on the couch... [rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] |
webdesign by epod / please sign my guestbook