[rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] ROVE MONOLOGUE EPISODE ONE Welcome to the show. I understand we're all pretty excited. I mean, heck - it's only one year till the Olympics...wow ! That's like 12 months, that's wow - 365 sleeps...just like a really long Christmas with javelins! It's so exciting! Now of course I'm sure the huge celebration that all the country got involved in at the olympics a year away...we're all pumped, we're all pruned, and the official word has gone out from everyone - all the leaders of the country saying - hey kids, forget about all the negatives about the olympics, you know, that world marching band fiasco, all the bribery scandals, lets forget about that and lets, hey, as a whole think of the positives!...like...ah...ah...um............those inflatable kangaroos on the bikes, they were great - so realistic. So what they've decided to do since the whole country has got so enthusiastic about the olympics, what they've decided to do is dampen that cause it's bad for the Australian image for us to be seen supporting something...so what they've decided to do to get it back offside is by rearranging all the events. It's fantastic....So, if you have a ticket for the decathlon, you'll now be seeing the 100 metres egg and spoon race. If you were going to be seeing the long jump, well now you'll be seeing a whole lot of grade six kids play kiss chasey, and the worst part of it all is - guess these people who are probably going to be most disappointed are those who had the tickets to the opening ceremony who are going to be seeing John Howard, because unfortunately, you'll still be seeing John Howard ! So nothing can be done about that... The other thing of course is Cathy Freeman, despite all the rearranging, her event will still be there, but...if you have tickets to see Ian Thorpe, now you'll be seeing Billy Thorpe unfortunately....and, if you were hoping to see the awesome foursome, unfortunately now you'll be seeing the Four Kinsmen. My hands are tied...I tried to help...I'm just...mummy, they're fine...but I had you'se going didn't I? But despite all this, despite all the scandals they've actually now said the ticketing system is going to be so secretive that they're going to be hand delivered to make sue they go specifically to the person who ordered them and there's going to be very st....st...stringent...or strindent...I think that's a type of chewing gum...I'm not sure...yes, go with me...thank you very much. It's my first show....help me!....a very stingent....or hard test to make sure you get your tickets... So, when you get your tickets, they'll ask for ID, they'll ask a couple of questions to make sure that you are who you are and then, just to make sure that the person who gets the tickets, just to make sure taht everythings' okay....they'll rearrange the events just to make sure they don't get there by the end of the day. Now, despite all of this, it's all very bad. Everyone's a bit angry and the one person everyone's trying to get a hold of for a comment is olympics minister, Micheal Knight...but, unfortunately he's been unavailable for comment as he's but solving crimes in his talking computerised car kit...Thankyou! I took a punt. I thought to myself...it's really tough, first show...I'm going to go out on a limb with the Micheal Knight gag...it could die...it was like playing a trust game and you as a nation caught me...thankyou very much.... [rove home] [rove episode guide] [rove transcripts] [rove/pete/corinne/dave pics] |
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