Egging Australia with Kenny and Daz - Kenny was played by Rove; Daz was played by Pete...Oh there was also some poor old guy who they kept egging...It may just have been Daryl Somers on his way out of Channel Nine...not....
Kenny: Right, here we are at tonights location. Tonight we're going egging. Ok egging was invented back in the 1600's. Daz: 1800's Kenny... Kenny: Is that a fact? Daz: Yeah, chickens were'nt even invented until the late 1700s'.... Kenny: What am I thinkin' Daz: Don't know....arrr...scurvey? Kenny: You sure? Daz: As a piano... Kenny: Rock and roll...
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Kenny: Okay, here we are at the Millet Street shops....Now the bus stop is a perfect place to egg because they can run, but they can't hide... Daz: They have to get on the bus eventually, it's just a matter of picking the right target.... Kenny: Okay kids, rule of thumb is don't egg people who look like they can run fast and beat the crap out of you. Look for people that are immobile... Daz: People in wheelchairs for example.... Kenny: No! Daz...remember we don't egg people in wheelchairs...ignore that kids...just go for people you don't like....
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Kenny: Alrighty...there are two ways to egg...there are egging sprees where there is no reportaire, no real art, everything is done at random, but that's not our style.... Daz: That's when innocent people get hurt.... Kenny: It's absolutely senseless....senseless Daz... Daz: ...as a bungalow... Kenny: Okay, we chose our eggs a little more carefully, we choose our targets with precision.....shall we get that guy? Daz: Yeah, why not.... Kenny: Okay, we've chosen our target, lets get a shot of him....he's a big bastard... Daz: We won't miss him, no way... Kenny: Are we ready? Ready Daz? Daz: As a Russian.... Kenny: Okay, now remember we'll go for the body, we'll get a headshot after...lets egg! .....Yes success, a direct hit!!!! Daz: ....what its all about... Kenny: Okay, lets get out of here!
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Daz: The thing abut eggings is you have to get there A.Q.A.U.P.C....as quickly as you possibly can! Kenny: Now it's time for us to get tricky...we're about to attempt a cross fire hit, we're gonna nail him from two different directions... Daz: I'll be due south.... Kenny: I'll be due.................I'll be the opposite of due south....
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Kenny: (on walkie talkie) Are you there Daz? Daz? Daz? Daz: (on walkie talkie) Yeah Kenny, I'm here...sorry I thought I saw Tonia Toddman! Kenny: Remember, don't go for the headshot, we'll go for that one last....Ready Daz? Daz: ....as a whiteboard! Kenny: Mate, he won't know what hit him! Daz: ...He's pretty bloody stupid if he dosn't !!! Kenny: Now they call this one the Grassy Knoll hit...I have no idea why...lets egg!!!...Yes! direct hit...got him! get him Daz? Daz: Like a....like a...like...yeah, we got him!
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Daz: Okay, the victim thinks he's safe, his bus has arrived and he's heading home...This is where we take it to a different level... Kenny: Okay, now it's time for the drive by egging!
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Kenny: Here we are in Dazzas' mums' car! Daz: Actually it's my dads' car, but mum uses it on the weekends for shopping and step aerobics... Kenny: Okay, the bus seems to be slowing down...right now, kids remember, we are professionals, do not, I repeat, do not try this at home! Daz: ....subject is getting off the bus... Kenny: Affirmative....affirmative....that means...Yes! Lets get him...okay, go for the headshot....lets get him.....got him! lets get out of here! Daz: It's stalled! It's stalled! Where are my hazards? Where are my hazards? Egg guy: (running towards the car) Go little bastards! Kenny: Dump the eggs! Dump the eggs! Daz: Can't start the car! Kenny: It's too late for the car! Save ourselves! (runs away leaving Daz in car) Daz: Mum needs it for step aerobics Egg guy: Gotcha!
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(Daz got taken away by the cops, whilst Kenny escaped and is remains at large)
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Kenny: We lost a good egger here tonight...maybe it's for the best...maybe it's for the best???
