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OTHER PEOPLES LIVES - FRANK WEST - CREATOR OF THE ETC ETC DANCE

...Frank West (Pete) , Debbie Dunlop (Corinne), Bouncer (Dave)...

Since the beginning of time, men and women have danced. Most learn to dance, but some create dance. Frank West is a dancetition - he is the god of the industry. They call him the "dancing king".

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Frank: I'm not sure where I was when I realized that I had the gift. Some people just can't dance, but it's a simple equation...rhythm + beat, add some ego and take away inhibition and then you have dance. It's a basic formula, it's just a starting point. Some people will never be able to dance, they'll try, they'll jingle, they'll jangle, but it won't be dance...(does random dance move)...sorry, that just came to me, it's an impulse thing.

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[Frank is trying to show Debbie Dunlop how to dance]
Frank: Arms outstretched, arms outstretched, how much do you love your mum? Show me how much ? Good girl...okay, now bend one knee, one knee, bend your knee Debbie, bend your knee Debbie, bend one knee...okay, here's my shoulder...okay, okay, okay [Debbie is hopeless !] , let's take a break....go over and read Franks formula and I'll speak to your mother....
Mother : She's really good isn't she ?
Frank : Hmmmm... Mother: Debbie got all the talent in the family, she gets it from my side....
Frank : Is that right ?
Mother: My mum was a backup vocalist for Normie Rowe...
Frank: She can't dance...
Mother: I beg your pardon ?
Frank: Your daughter can't dance...
Mother: What do you mean ? Wern't you watching ?
Frank: Mrs Dunlop, your daughter should not be allowed to dance, publicly or privately...

[mother walks off]
Frank: It's not easy telling someone they shouldn't dance, but I think I'm providing a community service...(Debbie falls over in background trying to dance)

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Frank [walking down wall covered in framed photos etc]: One of my best, one of my best...Lots of memories, lots of good memories. I remember the day the Village People gave me a call. They said, "We have a new song, 'Macho Man', we need a dance for it..." I said, "I havn't got any ideas for that, but I have something for the 'YMCA' one..." (dances a bit...) Sorry, my fault, should have warned you...dance alert !

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Frank: The bus stop, the old bus stop...this is where I was when the idea first came to me. I was waiting for the 216 to take me to Chadstone to see "The Karate Kid - Part 2" with Ralph Macchio...fine film, and it just came to me. Some people have visions of the virgin Mary, I have visions of dancing...(dances the bus stop AT the bus stop)...

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Frank: The worst thing I could do would be rest on my laurels. In fact, I'm very excited about my new dance, The Etc Etc...been working for six months. I heard somebody on the telly use the word recently, Magic History"...I think that's what we're about to create, magic history...

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Frank [walking up to a club where there is a large line of people]
Bouncer: Frank West does not wait in line...
[the music stops when Frank walks in]
Frank: Stand back, stand back...dance alert ! dance alert ! Be careful, very careful...It's time to find out if the world's ready for the etc etc...lets go !
[the dj puts on the etc etc music, Frank starts dancing and the crowd at the club just look at him]
Frank: Trust the dance, trust the dance...
[Slowly, everyone joins in until everyone in the club is doing the etc etc...]
Frank: Ahhh...my job here is done...my job here is done...
[Then Debbie Dunlop shows up, tries to do the etc etc and falls over]

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The Etc Etc went on to become a worldwide dancing phenomenon. Frank West made 1.5 million dollars after selling the Etc Etc to sexy Latino sensation, Ricky Martin. Unfortunately, Frank was sued by Miss Debbie Dunlop for injuries suffered whilst performing the Etc Etc at a city nightclub. She won and took everything. Frank West no longer dances - neither publicly or privately.

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