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OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES - COLIN BANKS - FOOTY TIPPER

COLIN (PETER HELLIAR), STEVE (ROVE MC MANUS)

Every Australian workplace has something in common, a footy tipping competition, and for every footy tipping competition there is a man who runs it. At West Stool Inc, Colin Banks is that man.

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COLIN BANKS : The Banks family have had a very proud history of running football tipping competitions. In fact, my great, great, great grandfather actually ran the very first football tipping competition on Captain Cooks maiden voyage, The Endeavour, back in '94. The Banks family are really carrying the torch as far as footy tipping competitions go.

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COLIN: (knocking on toilet door) : Kate, it's Colin, jst a word, I've been looking through your recent football tipping results and I've noticed that since you've had the miscarrige, you've hardly picked a winner...(Kate walks out of toilet)...Now, when in doubt, tip the home teams, consult the newsletter. Listen, you've been getting your tips in on time, 5 o'clock Friday, that's fantastic okay, not like Steve from accounts...ah, this week I think he'll be getting the away team, yeah, but that's not your concern. Listen, get your tips in on time and you can still get back in it. (Kate walks away without saying a word)...Thanks Kate, doors always open Kate, good girl, good girl...Buckets, 5 'o clock Friday mate, tips, onya mate, good onya...(Colin walks into toilet)...Oh Kate !

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COLIN : (Sitting in front of a computer)
COMPUTER: Access denied access denied...
COLIN: Sweeps, I refuse to run sweeps. You don't need any skill to win a sweep. Footy tipping competitions, they're all about bravery, courage, punctuality. You have to get your tips in at 5 'o clock on a Friday, otherwise you'll get the away teams and if the Dockers are playing at Waverly, you're in big trouble mister...

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COLIN : (Reading Max Walkers "How to Puzzle a Python")
STEVE: (Running into room) : Oh Colin, Colin, thank gawd! Found you!
COLIN : What are those Steve?
STEVE: They're my tips for this week.
COLIN : It's 5 past 5 Steve, I can't accept those...
STEVE : Aww...I know Colin, you've got to make an exception...
COLIN : You know the rules, you read the newsletter I assume ?
STEVE : Oh, but Colin, I had to take my nan to the hospital and then I thought I saw Tonia Todman, but it wasn't her...
COLIN : You know the rules, you know the rules...
STEVE : Oh come on, don't tell me...
COLIN : Yep, you get the away teams this week, Steve...
STEVE : Oh no !
COLIN: Yep, and the Dockers are playing at Waverly this week...
STEVE: Awwwwwwwwww....

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COLIN : No rest for the wicked. Not easy to win Footy tipping competitions you know. In fact, Nostradamus, the worlds greatest prophet never actually won a football tipping competition, that's true. You know, he could have been eating at the second coming, but he could not get a handle on the fact that Collingwood just don't win in Sydney...

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COLIN : Yeah, I think people enjoy their football tipping competitions. You know, it gives them something to look forward to from week to week.
STAFF MEMBER : Oh Colin, Wendy won't be in today. She's been in an accident.
COLIN : Wendy ? Wendy Gillepsie ? What - is it serious ?
STAFF MEMBER : Well, she's in hospital...
COLIN : (on phone) Dr Manchini?...Yeah, is Wendy Gillepsie there please?
Okay, when she comes to can you ask her to give Colin a call....Yeah, Colin...it's about her footy tips....Now, I've given her an extension, but she has to get back to me, yeah, otherwise she's got the away team, yeah and the dockers are playing at Waverly this week okay...bye...(hangs up)...it's out of my hands now, it's out of my hands...

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It was discovered that Colin Banks was never officially employed by West Stool Inc. He was asked to clear his desk and leave....by 5 o'clock, Friday...

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