GOOD NEWS WEEK - SOME OF THE STUFF THAT YOU DIDN'T SEE ON THE TELLY Here's a collection of stuff that happened during a number of Good News Week tapings that you didn't see on the telly! Paul and Mikey kept walking past a lady with a cast on her leg , singing George Micheals "Careless Whisper". ##### Rove steals a number of audience members crutches and then Mikey grabs one and sniffs it and says, : "Hey look, I'm sniffing your crutch!" ##### Mikey and Paul busted somebody passing around Licorice Cats. They also pointed out that they were 'cheap' as they were in a Target/Big W bag. Mikey stuck one up his nose and Paul was handing out a whole handful, then they mixed in the 'infected' one and again offered them around. A guy took two that were stuck together and Paul said : "If I were you, I wouldn't have taken the two that were stuck together." ##### Mikey was complaining that he was hungry, so an audience member threw a packet of Mc Donalds Cookies to him. ##### Paul broke the bell from 'The Really Quite Small Debate' and said "this wouldn't happen at the ABC, then Mikey said : "But Paul, we knicked it from the ABC!" ##### Paul (to the guy fixing his mic) : "Oooh, you've got cold hands...at the ABC they used to rub their hands together first to warm them up!" ##### Paul : "Where's my dot, I'm not doing it without my dot...dot...dot...I'm not doing it without the dot, where's my f*cking dot?!" ##### Paul : "Aren't we missing something?" (referring to the yellow dot Paul stands on to do his monologue at the start of Good News Week) ##### One episode Paul had really black hair. ##### Paul to the lady touching up his makeup: "No Mum! not in front of all my friends! You're embarassing me!...mum!!!" ##### Paul :"This show is going down on high quality vhs tape so...yes, we're taping over Breakers/Dawsons Creek/etc" ##### Paul : "The audience is allowed to get up and stretch for a minute. "lean forward and massage the person in front of you's bum." ##### "War! What is it good for - absolutely nothing !" ##### Busting an audience member for looking at him Paul asks : "What ya looking at velcro eyes! Stop looking at me!" ##### Mikey picks up one of the silver stars off the floor, licks it, and sticks it on his forehead. ##### Paul (to Mikey) : "Is that a packet of Codral in your pocket or are you just here to boost my immune system?" ##### Paul was (very emotionally) telling the audience about how he auditioned for 'Playschool'.Paul : "Apparently...I freak the kids out...yeah..apparently the original Hickory Dickory Dock didn't have the word f*ck in it 17 times...and...you know...the old woman who lived in the shoe, that had so many children her uterus fell out?...I mean, the kids have to learn sometime!" ##### Ted : "Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Mc Dermott" ##### Paul introducing Flacco : "Flacco was on the plane to Montreal for the Montreal comedy festival...sitting in economy...he mixed his viagra with his sleeping pills, got an erection...couldn't get his tray down. Had to walk out crouching and bent" ##### Paul after getting asked to do the monologue again... ##### Mikey and Julie walking back to the green room while Paul does the monologue. Mikey : "I'll catch you later, I'm just going back to my dressing room to have a bog...oh sh*t, my microphone's still on!" ##### Paul loves trying to crack on to grannies : "I like the older more mature woman"...offers of threesomes etc...and plenty of pelvic thrusts. ##### People were arriving late while Paul was warming up the audience...they sit down and Paul asks them : "Why are you late?". When they don't respond to his question he starts asking questions like : "Am I speaking too fast?", "Do you understand English?", "Do you go to a state school?", "Are you from Queensland?", "Are you on a bus tour?" ##### Paul goes up to the set and picks up a tiny screw. ##### Mikey grabbed a skull off HG (which was one of the "Strange But True" clues), put his finger in the mouth of the skull so it looked like a tongue and started to attack Paul with it. When he doesn't respond, Mikey started pashing the skull. ##### There was a guy in the audience that looked like a homie and he was wearing his hat backwards. ##### Paul to some country looking people : ##### Lady in audience to Paul : "Where'd you get your gumboots from?" ##### Paul : "Does anyone else think that the sound of pigeons of your roof (brr brrr) sounds a lot like two people having sex? Does anyone think that the sound of a clock (dick, dick, dick) sounds a lot like two people having sex? Does anyone think thant the sound of a chainsaw (chainsaw noise) sounds a lot like two people having sex? ##### Mikey says he's going to have a skip with the skipping rope which was a "Strange but True" clue. ##### They're talking about Pokemon... ##### Paul is standing behind Mikey... ##### Paul was about to begin his monologue, but then he stopped and said to the audience : "Whoever is sitting at our eye level, when you're sitting or standing, please keep your legs closed or crossed, because it's really off putting." ##### Mikey and Paul were talking about a guy who they pick on frequently called Wally (cause he looks like Wally from the "Where's Wally" books) ##### Paul was telling a joke about novelty ice cubes and no one laughed. ##### A girl in the audience was wearing embroidered jeans... ##### Paul was constantly playing with his keys, flicking them back and forth. ##### A lady was wearing a black jumper with fluro stripes... ##### They were taping promos at the end of a show and Paul was attempting to make up his own. ##### Paul : "Who hasn't been here before?" (lots of people put their hands up) "Ok, everyone else, after the count of three, you know what to do." ##### Paul and Mikey start talking about beastiality, mainly about cats and saying that dogs were 'cheap'. ##### Mikey and Paul were playing with a soccer ball... ##### They were filming a promo with the "little Paul" dummy. Paul had to hold the "little Paul" dummy during the Promo. ##### Ted has a habit of terrifying Paul during shows. He's held him by the scruff of the neck (well...the clothing there)...and beat him with a rolled up script...He's also chased Paul up one of the audience stands and Paul almost jumped over the back of the stands trying to get away from him (hehe) ##### Paul, Adam and Mikey are picking on the touchy feely loving couple that comes to every show who they hassle every week... ##### Flacco was doing his monologue and he kept stuffing up the bit where he had to talk fast, whenever he stuffed up he said "Oh f*ck!" ##### Mikey was telling a story of how a couple of days earlier he was at a boxing match that was being televised on "Fox Sports". He said he had gotten an itch in his nose, made sure no one was looking, and went in for the hill. Suddenly his mobile rings, it's Sandy. ##### Flacco and Sandy did a pretend backstage desk segment. This involved about a quarter of the audience being sent to another stand, which was facing away from the other normal stands. When the seats had been vacated by the audience members, Paul started stealing bags/coats etc and stashed them behind the desk. Then he sat in the middle of the vacant stand and yelled abuse at Julie, Mikey and Ted who were on the stage including, "Youse suck!" He then found (?) a portable drill and was walking threateningly around under the stands with it. The audience couldn't actually *see* Paul while he was doing this, just hear the sound of the drill through his mic. He sounded as if he was looking at unscrewing the stands above him where the audience was sitting. He then unscrewed one of the padding sections from an audience seat (about a metre and a half long) and sat on it at the chair behind his desk. When the audience members came back from filming the desk segment, one of the younger female audience members got into a tug o war with Paul and Mikey to get the seat back (she got it back!) ##### The audience is allowed to stand up as they are getting pretty lethargic. A tall guy in the back row stands, he has curly/frizzy, blonde/grey hair. ##### Paul : "I'm trying to be more Christian, more 'nice', and I'm not going to swear as much..." *ha* ##### Mikey complaining about his 'bad undies' : "Mr Lefty is getting into Mr Righty's space." ##### Paul : "Anyone here heterosexual? (no one puts up their hands) Paul persists and eventually everyone puts their hands up. "Anyone here homosexual?" (a couple of people and Julie put up their hands) "Anyone here bisexual/a lover of animals/bondage...etc..." ##### When introduced by Ted, Paul ran out in a bright blue ski jacket which he had stolen from someone in the audience on his way out to the stage. He then proceeded to walk around and model the "f*cking sexy jacket", putting on the hood and posing. Paul then took it off and put it on his desk, saying "We'll be raffling this off later." ##### A young girl in the front row was looking through photos, and Paul took them from her... ##### Paul : "I don't know if you can see it under the heavy make up they've put on my face (points to eyebrow). It's quite deep. So, I did this on Monday, but none of whom I would call friends, workmates, or companions asked how it f*cking happened. Because normally when someone has a cut, well someone I care about, the natural reaction is 'Oh, how did that happen?' But I got nothin'...I was trying to pull an electrical cord out of the socket, the first time it didn't come out, so I pulled it harder than I normally would have, and it snapped out, flew through the air and hit me in the f*cking eyebrow and nose..." Mikey then walks out and says : "How did that happen mate?...that wasn't from when we...?!" ##### Mikey (to Paul) : "I know I've said this before, but you've got a nice bum mate." ##### Paul (heckling Wally again) : "I love that 2day FM shirt, it must be such a chick magnet." ##### Paul and Mikey were guiding eveyone through some stretches when we were allowed to stand up.... ##### At the taping of the "Science should get out of our genes" debate everyone in the audience got Paul Mc Dermott masks and Ted instructed us that they needed to get shots of us putting the masks up, and 'dancing' to the song. Paul was standing near his desk and said : "Just keep them up for a second." Then he pretended (or so we thought) to jerk off. Ted thumped him for that one. Later Paul had changed his mind..."PUT THEM DOWN! THIS IS FREAKY!!!" ##### Paul making a mistake : "I'm gonna say that again because I don't wanna look like a f*ckwit on national television." ##### Sandman to Mikey at the taping of "Paul and The Fatman"... ##### Paul and Mikey decided to auction off a guy from the audience... ##### Paul (coughing up phlegm) : "I've got the flu." ##### At the final taping when Paul was introduced by Ted, and Paul went to stand on his yellow dot, the wolf whistles and cheers from the audience went on for ages and ages. Paul was just standing on his dot, looking blankly at the huge crowd at the Capital Theatre, waiting for them to stop. When the noise finally died down, Paul spoke : "Channel Ten is developing a new show. STANDING F*CKIN' STILL!!" ##### Rhys Muldoon came out to perform his "Bad Street Theatre" mime, he was continually bagging out Hi-5 (as he is from Playschool). He pretended to be them, dancing around, exaggerating movements, and pretending to have a head-set on. ##### After Paul was helped out of the spinning "Buzzers Of Death" contraption, everyone cracked up totally. ##### Mikey and Paul making fun of people going to the toilet during the show... ##### Pauls make-up lady had these boot stillettos and a very short denim skirt on. Paul was getting very distracted, and when she walked off, follewed her very closely with his eyes stuck to the skirt, then he turned to the audience and shrugged saying, "What do you expect?" The next time she comes out to fix his make-up Paul is talking to the stage manager and he tells Paul to concentrate. ##### Anastacia was onstage talking to the audience and said seductively, "Where's Rove?" Paul acts as if he was jealous : "What about me?" ##### Paul made his way back onstage just after Anastacia had finished her song, and the mic she had used was still there... |
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