You guys might think that interviewing the incredibly rich, famous and raunchy must be the best job on Earth - but sometimes you just want to sit back and let them do the talking. That’s why Barry Divola wrote out a stack of questions, cut them up, put them in his Jetsons baseball cap and handed it to Ratcat lead singer Simon Day. Here, for what we believe is the first time in music history, Ratcat interview themselves.

Quizmaster Simon Day picks out the first question and reads it aloud : If you could be someone else (alive or dead) for one day, who would it be?

Simon : Andrew would be Don Johnson because he looks like him anyway.

Andrew : Gee you can crap on Simon! Don’t believe him readers! He’s more like Sir Robert Helpman!

Amr : I’d like to be a fly on the wall for a day.

Andrew : I think I’d like to be Julius Caesar at the height of his power.

Simon : I’d like to be a pet cat for the rest of my life. And if I couldn’t be that I’d be David Lynch.

What would you like written on your gravestone?

Andrew : Damage Don (This is Andrew’s nickname.)

Amr : I’d actually rather be cremated. But if I had to have a gravestone it would say, “Please don’t litter.”

Simon : R.I.P.

Are you guys into sport?

Andrew : I played cricket and football at school. I like squash, swimming, scuba diving, skydiving, bungee jumping, waterskiing and generally meeting people.

Simon : I like swimming and playing toy computer games. (Takes out a Nintendo game and proceeds to play it for the rest of the interview.)

Amr : The sportiest I get is sleeping.

Why are you called Ratcat?

Simon : We were scuba diving one day and we were chasing this fish that looked like a rat and a cat all in one and we thought it would be good to be in a band called Ratcat.

Andrew : Then we killed it and ate it. Amr was the ski instructor at the hotel where we were staying and when we were cooking up the fish on the barbecue beside the pool, we saw Amr there with three or four beauties. We thought this guy was pretty cool, so we invited him to the barbecue. And he actually took the metal grate off the barbecue while it was still hot and proceeded to play it. He played such a mean hotplate that we bought him a bass guitar.

What’s a typical Ratcat fan like?

Simon : Intense.

Andrew : I think the typical Ratcat fan is a fairly rebellious young person who enjoys a good time, but can be serious when they need to be.

Amr : I don’t think there is such a thing as a typical Ratcat fan, but if you enjoy having fun, then come along and see us.

What was the last movie you saw?

Simon : The Silence Of The Lambs.

Andrew : Last Exit To Brooklyn.

Amr : A Czechoslovakian movie on SBS.

What’s your most prized possession?

Simon : My six guitars.

Andrew : I love all my possessions equally.

Amr : My sanity.

What’s the best cartoon show ever made?

Simon : Batfink and Bugs Bunny

Andrew : Kimba The White Lion

Amr : Tom And Jerry

Would you do an ad for a black bubbly soft drink if they offered you enough money?

Andrew : Yes, but it would have to be in six figures.

Simon : What he said, only double it.

Amr : It depends what was in the soft drink.

Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?

Simon : Michael Hutchence, I think.

Andrew : The Buzzcocks - apart from Simon and Amr that is.

Amr : Sophie Lee - I met her before she was famous though.

What do you most dislike about your own appearance?

Simon : I dislike my dislocated pinkie.

Andrew : I dislike the weight I put on while I was on tour last time - I put on a whole stone.

Amr : I hate the way I have to shave every day. It’s a real hassle.

What do you think you’ll be doing when you’re 40 years old?

Simon : Hopefully still playing music and doing artwork.

Andrew : I’d like to be involved in the horseracing industry and hopefully I’ll always know Jonesy from Polygram Records.

Amr : I’m going to be a professional philanthropist and I’m going to go around giving away money.

What’s your favourite Ratcat song?

Simon : At the moment it’s The End

Mine’s a toss-up between The End or Overdrive

Amr : I like The End, but I’m going to give Pieces a plug.

If you couldn’t be in Ratcat, what other band would you be in?

Simon : I’d like to be in the Rolling Stones.

Andrew : I’d like to be in Metallica, but I wouldn’t like to put in the effort to play so fast!

Amr : I would’ve liked to have played in the Stems.

What are your five favourite records of all time?

Andrew : Floating Into The Night by Julee Cruise, Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys, Singles Going Steady by the Buzzcocks, an Elvis Presley compilation, George Micheal’s Listen Without Prejudice

Simon : Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols, Glider by My Bloody Valentine, 10 Short Sharp Shots by Tommy James and The Shondells, Loot by the Clouds, Psychocandyby The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Amr : Doolittle by the Pixies, Revolver by The Beatles, Neurotica by Red Cross, A Different Kind Of Tension by The Buzzcocks, Stoneage Romeos by Hoodoo Gurus.

What girl would you most like to be stuck with in a disabled elevator?

Simon : Michelle Pfeiffer.

Andrew : Uma Thurman.

Amr : Twiggy.

What would you say to an alien?

Simon : Take me away with you.

Andrew : Can I go for a ride in your ship and see your world?

Amr : Yo dudes! Space me out!

Is Elvis alive?

Simon : He sure is man. If not in body, then in spirit.

Andrew : Yes he is. He goes rollerblading along Balmoral Beach. I see him every afternoon.

Amr : And he also cooks a very good hamburger on Enmore Road.

What’s the worst show on TV?

Andrew :Tonight Live With Steve Vizard - by far!

Simon : I can’t stand trashy American sitcoms…

Andrew : I thought you watched Doogie Howser all the time!

Simon : That’s a serious show Don! I like Married With Children and Cheers was good too.

Amr : I hated that show that had kids like New Kids On The Block in it. It used to be on Saturday afternoons and they’d just walk around videoing people all the time.

How do you know when you’re in love?

Simon : You get a gooey sensation inside.

Andrew : You go all weak at the knees and you start stuttering and you can’t get to sleep at night. You start eating a lot of Cheezels and Twisties. Your bank balance drops markedly.

Amr : And your bank balance drops when you’re falling out of love too.