Being an avid viewer of Nightline I thought it was my moral duty to email host Mr Riminton about a certain segment of the show that was troubling me. Here's the email :

Hi

I am an avid viewer of Nightline, and while I find the show informative and entertaining, I do believe that that a certain segment of the show needs some work.

Every night, when the lights go out, I've noticed (well everyone in my household - even the neighbours have noticed...well maybe just me) that you sit there and do exactly the same thing - ruffle papers for a second and then put your pen in your pocket. There needs to be some originality injected into this part of the show, something there to keep the viewers interested.

It is because of this that I offer the following suggestions which I hope will assist you with making this part of the show a bit more interesting for your viewers. Below is a weekly plan of new and interesting things that you could do every day, instead of the boring old ruffling papers and putting your pen in your pocket routine.

Monday : re-adjust tie
Tuesday : spin pen on desk
Wednesday : raise eyebrow and shrug
Thursday : have a drink take a panadol (or eccy - kidding)
Friday : unbutton top button of shirt

I do trust that the ideas that I have put forward will be invaluable to you and look forward to seeing them included in Nightline in the future.

Thankyou very much for your time.

Epod :)

Mr Riminton was nice enough to write back...

How cruel are you? Have you no idea how much thought went into that shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket schtick? All I can say is, you'd better be watching tonight.

hR

Needless to say, I was watching, and I was impressed. He changed his normal shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket routine to something else that night.

Instead of the usual shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket routine, he had someone hand him papers at the end instead. Since then he has been quite creative and has done all sorts of different paper handling activities, the most impressive being the night when he didn't put his pen in his pocket (for the first time EVER I think!) and flicked through some papers.

Hmmm...anyways I sent another email which he didn't reply to. Perhaps he's still researching my questions on paper cuts...dunno...then again, perhaps Channel Nine security said not to encourage me hehe....but oh well, it was a good email (or so I think anyway!) so here it is...

Greetings.

Thank-you for your email, it was very much appreciated.

I was aware that many years of training, hard work and preparation would have gone into the shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket manouver.

In fact, it was blatantly obvious from watching you perform the shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket manouver that not just anyone (for example, Sandra Sully) could pull this off as successfully or with as much class as you.

I just very strongly believe that you have the talent to increase your repertoire enough to include other things just as impressive as your shufflethepaperspickupthepenshufflethemabitmorestickpeninpocket manouver.

Tonights paper handling activities were impressive, and perhaps worthy of an Oscar nomination, however, I do believe that with a bit more effort, teamwork and creativity you can make the close of Nightline even more dramatic and exciting.

Speaking of paper handling have you ever got a paper cut live on air? Actually, has any newsreader ever got one? Also, have Channel Nine ever considered putting something that glows in the dark on your desk for when they switch the lights out at the end bit? Or a disco light perhaps? Maybe not.

I will most certainly keep watching Nightline with much anticipation (unless the movie before the news puts me to sleep)

Thanks :)
Epod

Well...since finishing the email I have thought of other cool things he could do when the lights go off...not that he would cause these are a bit too naughty...but mildly amusing to imagine just the same :

>>> stand up and then pretend to leave via an escalator or row boat (like Jimeoin / Austin Powers also did this in his movie)

>>> run off the set like a girl

>>> yawn and fall asleep

>>> get a glow in the dark pen to put in your pocket

>>> have "epod" written on the back of one of the papers you're shuffling ;)

Other ideas for stuff to do during Nightline :

>>> change your accent to Tim Bailey accent when you read the weather

>>> wear two different coloured contacts

>>> change your name from Hugh to Hugo just once.