Big Brother - the case for by Gretel Killeen
Big Brother - the case against by Wendy Harmer

The case for - Big Brother host Gretel Killeen says the show reflects life. Just lie back and enjoy it.

I love "Big Brother" and "Why?" is the only question I ask of anyone who doesn't. Why don't you adore it, why don't you sit back and let it entertain you? Every weeknight a million Australians tune in to BB. Each morning it is discussed in offices and schoolyards. Newspapers and magazines delight in its intrigue, while the website is the most visited single purpose website in Australian history.

BB is ordinary, simple lives played out under a magnifying glass that turns the scenario into a massive sporting event with winners, losers, heroes and villains. And the uniqueness of this game lies in the fact that there is actually no opponent imposed on our housemates...so they must at the one time be each other's closest friends and each others enemies.

It is a scene of gladiatorial proportions. The crowds cheer, boo, weigh up the evidence and evict thier least favourite characters. More than a thousand fans come to watch the live eviction on Sunday nights in the colours of their chosen team members.

A passionate romance has been ignited between viewers and the housemates. "Big Brother" is an anthropological adventure, a social experiment, a celebration of ethical gossiping. The housemates reepresent our friends and foes, our neighbours, our siblings, our exes and ourselves, all within a "watch me" fish tank. BB is life with all its bitchiness and bathing, grooming and group cuddles. It is ourselves, with a magnificent combination of objectivity, subjectivity, footy fever and humour.

Of course, some people don't get "Big Brother". Some people also just don't get life! Some people find birthdays boring, don't walk in the rain, some will never have a drink and dance. Some people have never laughed until they cry, some people cringe at buskers. There's always someone who doesn't get the joke...but does that mean the joke isn't funny? And the fact that some people don't get "Big Brother" doesn't hurt our feelings at the show...it just makes us love it more. So to the critics I say, "Why don't you do away with whatever it is that sets you apart for the 'it's a giggle' gaggle and participate in Big Brother's game of life?

Comedian and broadcaster Wendy Harmer says Big Brother may well be offensive, degrading and outrageous - but, worst of all, it's boring.

How fitting that "Big Brother" should be showing in the same timeslot on Channel 10 as "Seinfeld", the "show about nothing." Because, boys and girls, if there was every a show about absolutely bugger all, it's "Big Brother".

Two weeks now of footage taken from 25 cameras operating 24 hours a day trained on 12 people and what have wee had? A sprained wrist, a haircut, a bad mood, a bit of self conscious sex talk and the odd, clumsy grope.

Come on, we've all got home videos of Leanne and Wayne's engagement party in the carport which are more scintillating than this. There hasn't been a moment which would make the grade on "Funniest Home Videos."

The producers of "Big Brother" will excuse the lack of entertainment in their offering by telling us it's not "reality," it's a "docu-soap." They've had to invent a new genre for "Big Brother" because, clearly, it doesn';t have the appeal of either documentary, soap opera or reality. It's a tedious meander through a contrived halfway house for half formed personalities. The gentle natured dominatrix, the well hung hunk who won't get down and dirty, a dreadlocked Samson who lets Delilah give him a hair cut and a bad tempered bitch who wants to be loved.

For those of us who have spent years in shared households, it's all pretty tame. Where's the fridge Nazi who marks bottles of Coke with a texta? Where's the insensitive pig who sits up all night playing his electric guitair on 11? Where's the rancid slob, the hot water hog, the anorexic bulemic food phobic, the anally retentive obsessive compulsive kitchen cleaner, the whining English sponger sleeping on the couch?

Could it be "Big Brother" is incredibly popular with young Austrailians who've never experienced living away from home? Let me tell you kids, if you ever find a shared household this harmonious and peaceful, you should move in. But odds are you'll soon be back at Mum and Dad's looking for a little actuion.

And if you need a reminder of just how dull things can get in the "Big Brother" household, check the diary entries on the website : "Sara-Marie still thinks Todd smells bad; and Todd still doesn't like the BB song - can he save it?

Sure, the topics on "Seinfield" could be mundane - the puffy shirt the chocolate babka, the coffee table book that folds into a coffee table - but how much joy entertainment and insight into human nature did that beautifully crafted little show bring?

The producers of "Big Brother" are keen to point out that no scriptwriters have been employed on their program. Duh! Again, wouldn't it be ironic if "Big Brother simply served to remind people that the topics of masturbation and homosexuality had already been explored with wit and daring on "Seinfeld." Who could forget "The Contest"? And the brilliant catchphrase : "Not that there's anything wrong with that" ?

Of course most critics of "Big Brother" believe its's exploitative and degrading. But, for me, TV passed those milestones years ago with "The Price Is Right".

I could forgive the "Big Brother" team for so utterly offending and outraging public sensibilities the we reached for the remote control. The arts have long thrieved on confrontation and testing the boundaries of public moratlity. We sometimes need to be shocked into discussion what kind of society we really want to live in. But for simply boring us rigid ? Sorry, there's no excuse.