What was your life like for you when you were a child?

I had a difficult childhood, but this was largely self imposed because I was discontent. I've always had this feeling that life could be more than it is. The good thing about this is that it makes for excellent comic material.

What's the strangest thing that has ever happened to you?

I had a dream recently about a murder occurring in my neighbourhood. I found out the next day that it had. I now tell my kids I have psychic powers - that way they behave better.

What is your favourite city in the whole world?

Sydney, and I love Barcelona. I love anywhere I'm having a laugh or where I've fallen in love.

Do you believe there is such a thing as love at first sight?

I believe in love at first laugh.

What is your favourite high calorie full fat treat?

I try not to count calories because I'm not good at maths and I don't like to deprive myself. Luckily, my favourite food is raw red capsicum. I eat at least one a day, sometimes 200.

Why did you ultimately give up doing stand up comedy?

I wasn't ready for stand up. I was only 20 and it was too confronting in terms of whether people liked me or not. But I'm about to start again.

Who do you show your work to before it goes to the publishers?

Nobody. I'm too scared.

At what time of the day do you most like to sit down and write?

I don't like sitting down to write. My favourite place to write is in bed, with everyone I love sitting around me. It's so lonely otherwise.

Would you ever consider having plastic surgery?

YES, in big letters. I don't feel I need it at the moment, but I'm prepared for any natural disaster, and if it makes you feel good, do it.

How often do you excercise and what excercise do you most like to do?

I move around all day; dropping things, picking them up, tidying up, losing my car and then wandering the streets to remember where I parked it. Someone once gave me a gym membership and I thought it was quite rude.

Have you ever suffered from a broken heart?

Endlessly. Actually, men don't break my heart. I break my heart because I don't live in the real world and my imagination gets a little florid.

What are your favourite and least favourite parts of your body?

I'm proud of my body because it's strong, but sometimes on the beach breathing in to make myself look skinny, I nearly asphyxiate.

Vital statistics :

age : 37
maritial status : mother of two and "delightfully divorced a lifetime ago"
lives : in Sydney's inner city
favourite hang : in her shower singing Aretha Franklin and doing the hand washing
famous for : former stand up comic and JJJ comedy writer; voice over artist, author of 15 books, including "Visible Panty Line" and "Hot Buns and Ophelia Get A Bloke", which is to be published in late November.